Never be the same
by 13maggi13
Summary: "Dan Humphrey may not be royalty, but at least he's not a child." He had changed, he had become a better man. But does anyone care?; AU, post 4x18
1. Chapter 1

**Down to your knees**

"It is a big deal for me, Janey!" His voice increased on volume. _Why did Janey question his work, or his attitude?_

"Stop with this childish behavior then!" His secretary said honestly.

He looked at her. Childish...The last time he heard the word _child c_onnected with him was from _her. _"_...at least he is not child._" The words resonated in his head as he watched Janey, his secretary. She didn't know what was going on in his head.

"I don't want to know her name but that doesn't mean I don't take this project seriously." His voice sounded much weaker than when he'd first said it a few minutes prior._W__hy did she say that word? He wanted to forget and never think about it again!_

"Mr. Bass, I know why you are doing this. I just think it's pointless."

He could hear resignation in her voice.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows. He doubted she knew anything even close to the truth of the instigator of his attitude towards this subject.

At least it got his attention away from his thoughts of _her._

"You believe that if you don't know the name of woman it could be the one."

He hid the disbelief on his face. He was surprised that she knew. _She couldn't know!_

But Janey was almost right. He never asked for the name of any girl or woman he had a meeting with. Maybe it was because of _her_. He secretly hoped the new woman in his life would be better. She would amaze him. She would be better than _her_. If he would know the name he could find every detail about her life even before she walked into the meeting room. But without a name she was a stranger. Maybe the one who would finally fill the empty hole in his heart _she _had left there.

"So? Am I right?"

He realized she'd been staring at him the whole time and watching his facial expressions. He smirked.

"Honestly, Janey, do you really believe that? Your boss, romantic?" He smiled.

She smiled.

"You are right again, boss. Where would the world be if Charles Bass was a romantic?" She finally got back to work, but he didn't. Her head was in papers, and his? Somewhere in the past.

"_Chuck Bass is a romantic. Who knew?_" "_Now you do. That's all that matters._" He swallowed. What's wrong with his self control? Usually he would go for drink. But usually was past. Now he needed to face the reality and go forward.

"Everything alright?"

Janey's voice saved his thoughts from going further again. She should've gotten a higher paycheck for that.

"This project has to go well." He stood up from his chair. He nervously looked around his office, trying to think about the project, again. He licked his lower lip. _C'mon! Think._

"Yes, boss. Do you have something new on your mind?" She smiled. Janey had worked for him for four years. She knew how to manage him in order to work the best and at the end of the day, they both were satisfied. That was her work, and she made him feel like it was all his idea.

"I...I'm thinking about getting the new partner out of my way..." His thoughts were back on business, where they belonged. He was thinking about his job again, not about _her_.

"What?"

"You know, if we get the whole project just for us." He looked up to at her and smiled, satisfied with himself.

"But the government arranged this project..." Janey started confused.

"We'll get more money, and we'll be the best in their eyes. Because that's Bass Industries we are talking about. The best." He had been thinking about it the last couple days anyway. When he had gotten the project, he'd been thrilled. It was like his dream coming true. Now he knew he was trustworthy. Why would the US government give him that job if he wasn't? Everything seemed perfect until Janey told him, he had to work with somebody else. He couldn't work on it on his own. It ruined his dream. They didn't trust him, nobody really did. And he was about to change it.

"Yes, but..."

"There is no but, Janey. My new partner is a woman, you said?"

She nodded, and he smiled. He had become a better man. He did everything he could to be trustworthy. Now he was getting a project from the US government. His partner would have to keep up with him or give up.

"When is she coming?" He asked after a while. In his mind he was preparing himself.

"Actually, she should be here in a few minutes." Janey stood up fast and started to organize papers to one pile on her desk and make the room look better. Not that it was needed, but she was little perfectionist.

Slowly, he went around his big desk to sit down. The first win for him was that his new partner was coming here to introduce herself. He could just wait and sit. He felt more important than the potential partner that was coming to him.

Finally, somebody knocked on the door. Janey went to open it and a man in a suit came in. Chuck and Janey shared eye contact. Was this man supposed to be the new partner? Chuck hid a confused look. He was prepared for woman, not a guy.

"I would suggest you stand up, Mr. Bass," said the man, looking concerned. "She has a royal title," he added and looked through the doorway. It was open and nobody was there, not yet. Everybody was looking into the hall waiting for the person coming there.

Chuck's heart skipped a beat. But the last time he heard about royalty, _she_ was becoming one. Immediately he stood up, refusing to look away from the empty space beyond the opened door. The atmosphere was tight and he could almost hear his breath. No, it cannot be _her_. It's just not _her_, he tried to assure himself. When he heard the sound of heels on the floor, his face lost its color. He knew just one person with that rhythm and sound of steps while walking.

"Mrs. Blair Grimaldi, Princess of Monaco," The man said formally, oblivious to what he'd just done to Chuck's health.

As she walked toward the door, his eyes went blurry. He saw her silhouette and he couldn't manage to say anything. The room was suddenly full of her perfume, which was different than he remembered.

"Mr. Bass?"

He blinked when the man whispered near to him. Chuck saw her clearly now. It was _her_. And she was there, looking at him.

"What?" His voice sounded strange and distant. He couldn't turn his eyes away from her. Her chocolate brown eyes were the same as he remembered. They hadn't changed at all. _These_ eyes had seduced him at Victrola. _These_ eyes had been locked with Nate's. _These_ eyes pleaded for him to say I love you. _These_ eyes looked pained after what he'd done to her. _These_ eyes were incredibly happy when he had told her he loved her. _These_ eyes had told him it was over. _These_ eyes had told him he was a child and he would never be ready for her. The scars on his heart were open again. Like nothing had changed during all five years he hadn't seen her.

"You need to kneel down before the Princess..." the man said quickly and quietly. It took Chuck awhile to realize what the man's words meant. _To show her respect, to get on the dirty floor for her, to love her...?_

"No." He heard his voice. His mind was satisfied. He showed her he changed. His heart didn't agree with his strong refusal. If he would do as his heart wanted he would lay down at her feet. Nothing had changed.

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><p>Please let me know, what you think. Should I continue?<p>

Maggi

BIG THANKS TO MY BETA-**suspensegirl**


	2. Chapter 2

**Everything has changed**

_"The saddest part is that I'd come to the same conclusion. But now that I know I'm ready I realize you're not." _

_"What?"_

_"I thought that,__after everything you went through—Prague, Eva, Russell—that maybe you'd changed, but who was I__kidding?" She looked_ _disappointed._

"_Don't say that." He couldn't manage to make_ _himself say more. Her words got under his skin and sunk into_ _his heart. Like poisonous arrows._

_But Blair was still standing there looking at him and breaking his heart._

"_You have years before you're capable of a real relationship. If you ever will be,_" _she__ continued,_ _and her eyes looked so cold._

_He couldn't could he possibly screw up so badly that their promises together were suddenly null, void and no longer true. If two people are meant to be together they will eventually find the way back together, right? Why didn't she believe that anymore?_

"_I'm sorry Chuck..." She turned away and left._

_His eyes followed her and he couldn't say a word. He didn't stop her. He didn't do anything. __This seemed like the end._

He could feel that the man beside him froze. But he wasn't going to change his no. He wasn't going to kneel down.

But Blair didn't seem to care. She was just there in all her beauty, looking at him.

Her eyes didn't tell him anything. Somehow he just couldn't find the hidden messages in those depths anymore. There was an invisible cold wall that blocked her from him.

"Blair." His mouth said her name after five years. It sounded so strange and yet too familiar at the same time.

"Bass." Her lips formed a little smile and his heart skipped a beat. When was the last time she smiled at him? He couldn't even remember. There was a little hope that nothing changed. She said his name like she used to call him. Nothing had changed, he tried to convice himself.

"Have a seat, Waldorf." He pointed to the chair in front of his desk with a smirk. He was starting to think that it couldn't be that bad. Maybe they could work it out like old friends.

"I'm not a Waldorf anymore." She said simply, but that froze everything in his body.

His smirk was gone. He caught himself half-way to sitting down. He fell down to the leather chair and his eyes went straight to her hands. There was the ring. _Her _ring. She was married. _Of course _she was.

"_Chuck... Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Serena appeared from out of nowhere.__ He hadn't seen her there before__._

"_Nothing's wrong, sis." He grabbed his glass of scotch; he wouldn't have_ _known how many he already drank if anybody would've asked him._

"_You are always in here every day drinking..."_

_If he had looked at her, he would've seen her worried face._

"_What else would Chuck Bass do?" His forced laugh sounded even worse than his voice. He finished the glass and went for another._

"_Listen. You need to do something with your lifestyle_." _She argued. Her voice had grown_ _louder._

_He looked up at her. He raised an eyebrow and took another drink._

"_I don't need to do anything. Say something with a point or get out." He gestured towards the exis._

"_I know you need a help__" __She was holding something. She nervously hid it when she saw his glance to it._

"_I'm not bullied in a kindegarten. __I__ don't need your help." He __snapped_ _angrily. __She was being annoying__._ _He just wanted_ _time alone__for the only friend that he had left, scotch._

"_Fine, live the dream of your life in here alone and depressed__"_ _She threw an envelope __she was holding__ at_ _his face. "Can't wait to__ see you there__._" _she added ironically and almost ran out of his apartment._

_When she left he looked at the envelope, he couldn't care less what was in it. Probably from Lily when he didn't answer her calls she diced to write him. __But when he grabbed he saw something that caught his attention. __BW_

_Blair sent him a letter? He swallowed the remaining liquid in the glass and he didn't go for another. His hands were shaking as he opened the letter. Maybe from drinking, maybe because of nerves._

Blair Cornelia Waldorf and Louis Albert Jean-Michel Grimaldi

Request the honor of your presence at their wedding

On July 28th Saint Patrick's Cathedral

New York

_He stared at the letter, unable to look away for a couple more hours, in disbelief of what he'd received._

"I know." Of course he knew. How possibly he could forget? He tried to forget.

Despite receiving the invitation, he never made it to the wedding or to Monaco.

Thank heavens for Serena and Nate! They literally stopped him from doing that.

"_This is enough!" The voice was coming from a_ _long distance._

_He was lying in his bed and he didn't bother to open his eyes._

"_Chuck!" Serena's loud voice made him to open his eyes. But there was nothing wrong; she just stood there looking extremely angry. "Get out of the bed __NOW!__"_

"_Sis, why don't you come here to me__?"Lazily he closed his eyes again._

"_I said get out of the bed__, Chuck Bass, you lazy ass!__"She pulled him from the bed and he fell down._

"_What?"_

"_Stand up or I will kick you with my heels!"_

_She sounded serious__._

"_Okay!" He looked annoyed giving her a once-over. __Nobody had_ _pulled_ _him out of bed before._

_He stood and hold of__the table near the bed, so he didn't fall again.__ His eyes were closing again, the only thing keeping him where he was his sister's annoying voice and ridiculous demands._

"_What do_ _you want, dear sister?" His lips smiled but his eyes didn't._

_She walked closer to him and then she slapped him so hard he lost his__balance and fell to the bed._

"_What did I do?__"_ _Chuck asked_ _angrily. "Are you practicing for a__fight for your dear Daniel? Who is he doing now? Vanessa again?"_

"_You are so lost. I'm dating Nate." She said looking proud of the mark on Chuck's face she did._

"_When did you start dating Nate?" He stopped her looking confused as he could in his situation._

"_Month ago?" She raised her eyebrows and looked at him in amused._

"_Why didn't he tell me?" Chuck wondered to__himself our loud_. _He __couldn't remember the last time he even talked to Nate__._

"_Maybe, because you are in your bed drinking all the time. Did you think about that could be the problem you don't know the reality anymore__? There isn't even a girl under your sheets pretending pleasure for money_" _She said sarcastic shock lacking her words._

"_I don't feel like it right now..." Honestly, he didn't feel like doing anything now._

_She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the door of his bathroom. "__But I will not watch you doing this to yourself. You will have shower and go out with me and Nate__"_

"_What if I say no?__" He let her push him to the bathroom __though__. He had to smell lik__e __hell. He didn't remember __the_ _last time __he'd_ _showered either._

"_Then, I will slap you again." She said __simply __and closed __the__door __after __she pushed him in._

_He stood there alone in the bathroom. __If he was remembering correctly, he hadn't been there in a long time. __He walked slowly to the mirror. When he looked at himself he didn't recognize the person looking back at him._

"_Who are you?" He asked the reflection in the__mirror,_ _looking to his eyes. "What happened to you?"_

"_Is it because of her?"_

_He couldn't stand to look at himself. He knew what he'd done. He was proving to__Blair that he was not ready for her and never would be._

That moment had changed him. He made up his mind to become a person trustworthy and capable of a real relationship. It was the moment, the day, the minute. Thanks to Serena.

"What are you thinking about?" Blair's voice took him out of his memories. She was drinking hot tea and he realized he had missed something. He didn't know when she had gotten the tea and even when she sat down. _Had she been __watching him __when__he went through his painful memories?_

"Just..." he started, but he couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't tell her about his memories. He couldn't tell her to leave. He wanted her here; words couldn't explain how much. But her face and her expression looked so cold.

"I have one really important meeting and..." He couldn't say it again. The voice in his head was repeating the painful memories all over again. He took two deep breaths.

"You have to leave if you don't have anything to say." He said it but he wasn't satisfied with himself. It didn't feel right. It wasn't right at all.

"What do you want me to say, Chuck?" She drank the tea and she still looked like nothing ever happened between them.

That was driving him crazy. He didn't understand what had happened to her. _Why was she so cold? Why didn't he know her anymore?_

"Why are you asking me questions?" He snapped. Now he didn't have to answer her anything. He didn't want to. It would've showed that he was struggling.

"So, you have a meeting. Should I know with whom?" She asked. She seemed to be ignoring his comment.

"Blair..." He started and paused. Her name sounded so good when he said it. Like old times. He wanted to say it again and again, never have enough.

"I believe I'm Mrs. Grimaldi for you too."

That broke his heart again. He just watched her as she looked at him with that cold glare. He closed his eyes taking deep breaths. Everything had changed. Including himself.

"I'm starting a new project and my new business partner will be here in a minute. Please leave." He didn't look at her. If he did she could easily recognize his pain in his words. And he couldn't stand her cold eyes.

"I'm the partner, Chuck." She didn't say _your. _Her facial expression still didn't change.

"You can't be." He lost his breath again. His thoughts were going fast trying to find out why she would be the partner. The project was including US not Monaco. She wasn't that powerful.

"You don't believe me when I say I can do this?" She snapped back and her face finally changed. She was annoyed and angry. It wasn't the type of emotion he wanted, but it was a nice change.

"How could you possibly say that, Blair? You know I've always supported you. I just...can't imagine why would you agree to work with _me_." He defended himself quickly, not believing what she'd said. He had always trusted her style and opinion. She was the first person he had showed Victrola to. Because of her, he had bought the Empire. Her opinion always mattered to him.

Their eyes met and they both knew he was right. It was just neither of them would say it out loud.

She closed her hands over each other and her ring disappeared from him.

"Am I not powerful enough to work with you?" She asked after a while, little annoyed, and put the empty teacup on the table. "What are you trying to say Bass?"

"Ms. Janey!" He called. She was the only one who could tell him who was his new partner for sure.

"Yes?" Janey walked to his table with the polite smile she always used during business meetings.

"Is B...Mrs G...?" He couldn't say it loud. "Is she my new partner?" He gestured to Blair.

Janey looked confused, but she nodded.

"You don't believe me." It wasn't question. It was fact. And it sounded so cold it froze his body. He would've never imagined Blair would've talked to him like that.

"Thank you." He smiled at Janey ignoring Blair's comment. He waited until Janey returned to her desk and then he turned back to Blair. He had to remind himself to stay strong.

"Why are you here then? Don't you need to rule your kingdom?" He had to agree it sounded harsh but he wasn't going to apologize her. She had started with this tone. He was going to continue.

"I have my own reasons. Along the fact this job is way more powerful than sitting down smiling and knowing I will stay princess forever..."

It was the first time he'd heard and seen something other than annoyance and anger in her voice and demeanor. But it was gone as fast as it had come.

"So, you came here." He smiled when he realized that fact. She had come to him. Unlike him, she knew she had to work with him. And she chose to do it still.

"But this is _my_ kingdom..." His eyes watched hers trying to find something into them.

"This is just about business." Her voice was cold again.

But it didn't have that much of an effect on him this time. He had become convinced he knew the real reason she was there.

"Then let it be business. Don't be here to satisfy your needs for power." He looked at her with satysfaction.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Bass..." She stood and flattened her pencil skirt. "See you at the official meeting."

He could barely remember when was the date of official board meeting of the sponsors and the governemnt officials. He couldn't think about work or anything besides her now. He spotted the ring on her finger again. He swallowed and closed his eyes for a minute. He wasn't excepting her reaction. And he had never thought she would call him _Mr. Bass. _But everything had changed. Not in way he would like. _Would he have even wanted this change if he knew how it was going to be?_

"Pleasure, as always, W..." He stopped himself. He caught her gaze before she turned to the door.

She left, leaving him more confused than ever. She left him with his thoughts but they were assuring him about the one thing. Everything besides one thing had changed. He still loved her.

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><p>Thank you for reading after that long time. I'm so sorry. I promise next chapter is almost done and longer! :)<p>

Thanks to my BETA- **suspensegirl**!


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